Tuesday, March 30, 2010


"We will never be happy until we make God the source of our fulfillment and the answer to our longings. He is the only one who should have power over our souls."

-Stormie Omartian "The Power of a Praying Woman"

Monday, March 29, 2010

college ministry.

Every Sunday night our college ministry meets at the church to have our "core discipleship" Bible study. Of about 200 college kids, we split up in assigned groups of about 10 people to work on our lesson. On my way back into town yesterday I got a message saying for everyone to meet at the church immediately for an announcement. I had no idea what was going on, or what to expect.

I walked in to a room full of crying...We got news that the leader of our college ministry has stepped down from his position. For reasons I won't get into- but it was a major shock to us all. He is the one that started the ministry about 5 years ago. It all started with him leading a Bible study in his home with just a handful of people. Years later, it is now an incredible group of people who meet on Thursday nights, and Sunday for discipleship. Thursday night consists of a live worship band, prayer, scripture, and a short message geared towards college-age students, then we have a 'midnight breakfast' prepared.

If it weren't for this man I would not be where I am today. I remember hearing him speak for the first time- I left the building in tears, and called my mom telling her how God spoke to me so clearly. I have never been so moved by a speaker before. The next week I went back and he remembered my name. This was huge to me considering I only knew a few people in the entire town at the time. I felt like he cared. He encouraged me to get plugged in with this college ministry, to get involved, to join a Bible study group...And I did! I knew it wouldn't be easy, and it would be something I'd never done before, but I felt like the Lord was pushing me. This short, funny, little man knew what he was talking about. I've learned so much from him and I'm truly sad that he will not be leading the ministry anymore. I cannot describe how this man, and the ministry has changed my life. If you would have told me a year ago I'd be participating in a Bible study I would have laughed in your face. I've never been one to sit with a group I do not know and talk about feelings- much less, the Bible. I am so grateful I had the opportunity to hear this man speak. He changed my life.

Him and his family have been hurt by some things that were said causing him to resign. Tonight about 30 plus girls from the group went to their house to pray over them. We circled around their yard and asked God to be with him. To comfort them. And to encourage them. Times like these remind you that it is not him, the speaker, that holds our ministry together- it is the love of God. We do not know what the future will hold- but we do know that our group will unite and continue to grow. For some reason, it is in God's plan and we should get excited to see what He has in store for us. The true leaders of the bunch will step up to take over and we will move on. I pray that the newest Christians will not lose faith- but will see the strength shown and they will continue to grow and prosper. Please pray for our college ministry. There are hundreds of college students that have come to know the Lord through this group and I pray that will continue.

Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops with perserverance. - James 1:2-3

Be Joyful always; PRAY CONTINUALLY; give Thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

verse of the day.

I love this verse. It always comes to mind when I'm struggling, or having doubts about a decision. Trust in Him, in ALL that you do. He will always guide, gaurd, and direct us if we have complete FAITH in Him.

consume me from the inside out.

I'm stress myself out way too much. I lose sleep because I worry too much. I'm constantly thinking about the list of things I have to get done. Lately, I've had a lot on my plate. It seemed like it was just one thing after another. For starters, a month ago everything was going pretty good. It had been a long time that I could say I was completely happy. I was excited and content. For the first time I was in a new relationship with a Godly man. I had dated many guys that yes, loved the Lord, but never had I been with someone who was so strong in their faith and lived his life every single day for Him. The relationship soon ended when he told me he still had feelings for another girl... I respected him for telling me immediately but I was also so hurt because I thought everything was perfect between us. The entire time we dated he pursued me completely. He assured me he knew what he wanted. And as soon as I got to that place where I felt comfortable where our relationship was going - he changed his mind. I've been told that "when things are going perfect - that's when you need God the most". I don't feel like I was getting too distracted by this relationship - I continued to put God first in all that we did...I try to remind myself that he just wasn't "the one". Now it's extremely difficult because he and I are involved in the same Christian organization at our university. He's even in my Sunday night Bible study, and we have a lot of mutual friends. So it is really hard. We have talked since the break-up, and I told him that I'd love to stay friends, I'm not mad at him. But it's a continuous struggle getting over this guy that I still have strong feelings for - because he did nothing wrong, but change his mind. Today he was tagged in a few pictures with a new girl - so I guess that's her. God, give me strength to move on.
The day after my relationship ended there were several instances that came up at school that I had to make instant decisions. My decision would affect the next year of school - it depended on whether or not I would get in to the Nursing Program. LOTS of pressure! But with God's help - I survived those few weeks.
I'm constantly trying to remind myself to STOP WORRYING! Be patient!! God has a plan for me. He will handle it all. Everything is working out just exactly how it's supposed to! For whatever reason the relationship didn't work out - God didn't want it to last. And when I was thrown a couple of curve balls - I got through it because of Him. It's times like those when we must pick ourselves up, take life by the reigns and carry on! We sing this song at our Thursday night worship service and it's been stuck in my head this past week -
I want to be consumed "from the inside out" with his grace and mercy. ALL that I do I want him to guide and direct me. I strive every day now, to look to Him for guidance. I'm learning how to GIVE IT ALL to God every day.

A thousand times I've failed

Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

Monday, March 22, 2010

my testimony. my revelation.

I chose to start this blog for a couple of reasons. At 21 years old, my faith is the strongest it has ever been. This past year my eyes were opened and I have seen Christ work in my life continuously. I have several journals I keep up with but as a nursing student the old fashioned pen and paper just takes too long. I enjoy documenting life's happenings, my thoughts, hopes, dreams, and prayers. I feel it is only proper to tell you a little about myself and to begin with my testimony.

I'm just a small-town girl from Texas. I grew up in a loving, christian home. I am blessed with parents that have been happily married for 32 years, and I have two sweet older brothers. After a couple of years at different community colleges mixed with a few bumps in the road, I changed my major back to nursing and am now attending the university of my choice where I plan to get my RN. Why nursing? My passion, my talent, and my hobby are all the same - I absolutely love taking care of people. I have a very tender heart, but a strong will and a lot of determination that pushes me to take care of others. I am grounded. I'm real, and down to earth.

To fully grasp the depth of my walk of faith I'll try not to leave anything out. Including the good, the bad, and the ugly...
All my life I grew up in a very close-knit, christian home. I'd always been a believer of Jesus Christ, but I guess I had never established a faith of my own - it was always my parents' faith. My decisions and my mistakes are all my own - in no way should my sins reflect on my family or my childhood. My parents did a wonderful job of teaching us right from wrong and we were disciplined accordingly. They always set a close-to-perfect example of what a Godly marriage should be. I just a few left turns when I should have gone right.

I've gone to church religiously since I was in diapers. I was baptized into Christ when I was in middle school. I walked a straight path until I was about 16 when I became involved in a unpure, ungodly relationship with a guy who was a few years older. My parents didn't like it from the get-go but I disregarded their opinions completely. We dated for about 3 1/2 years and during that period I lost all of my friends, I wasn't doing well in school, and I had completely cut off all personal communication with my family. They didn't approve so I just didn't talk to them. I thought I didn't need anyone else in my life. He was my God. I also got involved with alcohol and the party scene. When the relationship ended I was completely lost. Actually, lost doesn't even compare to what I was. I had no one. I rarely went to church because I felt so guilty when I walked through the doors. To everyone else my life looked perfect. I would go to the bar on Saturday night then have on a pretty face decorated with pearls for Sunday morning service. Pretty bad, huh? So after my first love was gone, I didn't even think I deserved the Lord.

I slowly started to rekindle my relationship with my family. It took a long time to gain back their trust. When I was 20 years old I moved away from home to attend a different college. I continued on with a lifestyle full of drinking and partying. A few more dead-end relationships here and there. But I still had a heart full of emptiness. Something was missing. All of my old friends were still living in sin and I had nobody encouraging me to get my act together besides my family. It wasn't until about a year ago when I chose to make a decision. I knew I couldn't handle any more stress and I had no idea where my life was headed so I gave it all over to God like my mom told me to do thousands of times before. I gave it all to God. I told him to take control of my life and lead me where he wants me to go. Shortly after, It was then that I realized I was not in the right place. I moved home for the summer to figure things out. I ended up applying last minute to a few universities that offered nursing degrees. That summer of '09 I got accepted to the school of my choice just a few days before my 21st birthday. I didn't know a single person at the school, but I figured that it could be a great way to a fresh start. A clean slate. It would take a lot of courage to move 4 hours away from everything I've known, and the people that care about me. But I had to do it. Something was pulling me. I continued to pray that God would show me what to do next...and He did! Every little detail started to line up exactly - my apartment, my roommate, everything. It was incredible.

Not too long after classes began, I got involved in a Christian group affiliated with one of the local churches. I was invited to one of their worship services on Thursday nights for college kids - a live band, a quick message, and "midnight breakfast" is served. The first time I ever went I was moved beyond measure. The speaker was talking DIRECTLY to me. I knew immediately this was a group I wanted to get plugged in with. Surprisingly there were a couple hundred kids there. I was challenged to "read my bible for 5 minutes, for the next 7 days" - I was told it would change my life...and it did. I was invited to join a girls' bible study that was held on Sunday nights. I had never participated in anything like it before - so I prayed about it for a few days and decided it would be a great thing. I've now gone every week since it's started and it was the best decision I've made. I've met all of my new friends from this Christian group, I'm so thankful for that. I even recently spent my Spring Break in Canada for a mission trip.

My life was changed because I gave all of my worries, my troubles over to God last year. I'm learning to do this every day. That is why it is "My Sweet Revelation". I am experiencing a spiritual revelation from the Lord, Jesus Christ as he works in my life. My faith is now stronger than ever. I have an amazing relationship with Christ, and I'm constantly surrounded by Christians. I read my Bible like I'm looking for answers, not because I'm told to read it or because I do it out of repitition. I am once again close with family and I have their support in all I do 100 percent. NEVER again will I date someone that my parents do not approve of. I share my story and Jesus' love for me every opportunity I get. It is because of Him that I am saved. I do not regret my mistakes, for they are a thing of my past. I believe they made me who I am today, and I am a much stronger person because of it. I know now exactly what I look for in a husband, and bars and alcohol are no longer part of my life. I feel like I am EXACTLY where God wants me to be.
Join me as I write about life's experiences and share my thoughts. Encouragement and prayers are always need!

God Bless,