Friday, April 16, 2010

get rid of it. set yourself FREE.

Today I was cleaning out my email. I have over 700 emails that I need to empty, and quite a few folders I need to delete. One of the folders I had was designated for my ex-boyfriend. We dated for about 4 years and through that time we wrote a lot of emails. I guess those were the days before texting got really big. For 1 1/2 of those years he was living in a different state - so we wrote each other a lot. When we got in big fights - wow, we wrote some really long letters. 
I don't know why I had saved them all these years. Some of them even went back to the year 2004...we must had just started dating then. I kept almost every email from our relationship. Many of them were short and sweet, sappy love letters. While most of them were hateful, and filled with drama. The things we said to each other were rediculous. If someone were to ever read those emails I would be so ashamed and embarassed! I'm NOT the same girl I was back then, but it crushes me to see how young and naive I was. After a year in that relationship, I had absolutely no backbone. I didn't stand up for myself and I put up with so much crap. My life revolved around that boy and I did absolutely anything to keep him. How sad...but hey, we live and we learn. I probably would not take back a second of that relationship because it taught me so much. I am a much stronger person today because of it. I know exactly what I deserve and I will NOT settle for less.
Back to the emails. I deleted them. EVERY single one. After reading a few, I just got rid of them all. There is no point in reminiscing or reliving what the boy and I were going through at that time. All the pain and suffering is in the past. There is something about deleting those emails that FREED me. It felt good. We have been broken up for a couple years now, and we do communicate on a civilized basis from time to time, but it just felt really nice to be able to get rid of those letters forever. They are gone. And all the drama, the hateful words we said to each other are just a memory. Nobody will ever know the sinful, unhealthy, painful words that were said or the depth of our relationship.


I encourage you- if you are holding on to "letters" of your past, please GET RID OF THEM! You don't need the reminder or the pain. I'm not saying go burn all of your old love letters, but I'm suggesting that you throw out anything that is preventing you from moving on completely from a sinful, or hurtful past. We all do it. Most of us have something hiding in our closet, under our bed, in a box, or even on the internet that we're holding on to. You must LET GO of it so you can MOVE ON.

6 comments:

Kasey said...

Jessica defintely has natural beauty!!
--love your post. i FINALLY threw away all my letters and etc from my ex away! it was a huge relief!

Laura said...

Girl, you've got power! What a great step in the right direction!!! It's so hard to make that step to get rid of that connection to the past. A part of you always screams to keep it "just in case." I think it's great that you finally let go of it! I bet it's a huge sigh of relief!!!!

Briana Kate said...

Way to go girl! "Breaking Free" has been my theme this year already! I am doing the Bible study "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore! I am just in my first week and it is fabulous! And feels wonderful to not be bound by things of these world but secure in the strength of the Lord! :) Hope you have a great weekend!

K said...

Garbage Out! : )

Jessica said...

AMEN!
I have been in this position and kept numerous messages from a certain no-named person. I finally one day told myself I needed to stop keeping them around because it was doing nothing for me but reminding me of where I was, not where I'm heading...

God's girl said...

Awesome. Praise God! I was late in reading this post, but... it was perfect timing:) Thanks for encouraging us to do the same. I'm sure I have emails that need to go, go, go! Hugs!